In Mastery, by Robert Greene, he states that social intelligence is one of the things we need to acquire to truly reach success and mastery within our lives. Without social intelligence and knowing how to read people, we become emotionally drained by misreading intentions and becoming wrapped up in the endless political intrigues and battles. Without social intelligence success will not last because you need to interact with others to learn from them, network with them, and sometimes even be able to work well within a group or workplace. In Mastery, Greene talks about how there are seven qualities that people possess that can be very destructive to their social acceptance, and destructive to the group. When you learn these seven destructive qualities, you will become more aware of your own actions and the actions of others. Being able to spot these qualities will help you to avoid the people that possess them to a higher degree and help you avoid triggering them in yourself. Here are the seven socially unaccepted traits that you may have, that you need to get rid of.
It is natural for most people to feel envious about someone else and this must be suppressed through accepting who you are and what you have in life. People have the tendency to compare themselves to others, whether it be how cool they are, how accepted they are, how wealthy they are, or how smart they are.
Envy is widely unaccepted behavior, so many people suppress this publicly and show it privately in their thoughts and subliminally through their actions. You must be aware of any envious feeling you may have for it will hinder your confidence and your success. You must also be aware of the people who may be envious of you. Some indications that people may be envious of your success or whatever you may have, is if they try to get too close to you too soon.
These people want to learn more about you and get closer to you emotionally in order to hurt you. People who show a lot of insecurity may be the ones who become envious. You must avoid making people envious by being humble. Never boast too much about your success and learn to connect with people by displaying your weaknesses. Looking too perfect or making it seem like you have the perfect life will turn people against you.
Many people have a certain belief and this belief may be a part of what is socially accepted. Think about religion. In the United States, Christianity is the biggest, most accepted religion. If you are working within a group or at a workplace, and the group of people you are always around has created an environment around Christian beliefs, you may believe in another religion or none at all.
You must not display your differences in a place where what you believe in will be socially unaccepted. There are people who will try to ostracize you and sabotage you because of your differences. In these type of environments, you must wear a mask as you work your way to the top. Leave your deepest thoughts reserved for your closest friends.
Most people are rigid in their thinking and not flexible to new ideas. When we think about the paradigms that have been introduced into society, but then disproven by evidence, people still fight to keep the old accepted paradigm in place because people become hooked on an idea if exposed to it long enough.
These type of people need order and are defiant to change. If you try to introduce and new way of thinking, they will grow resistant and defensive. You must keep your way of thinking to yourself or you will create hidden enemies. In order to stay clear of this, display deference to their need for their way of thinking, but work behind the scenes to let go of their way of thinking and cultivate new ideas.
In the workplace, people almost always think of themselves first and not the needs of others. We must know and understand that the world is a very competitive place. People really only look at their own self –interest. Knowing the fact that people operate for their own self-interest will help you greatly in getting what you want. People do not publicly display this because it is unaccepted, but you should appeal to their self-interest when asking for any help. In this, you will get what you want.
You must watch out for the people who cannot control their laziness. We all are lazy in some aspect because we all have the tendency to want to take the quickest, easiest way to our goals, but some are able to overcome this and learn the art of hard work. Others are always stealing ideas to save themselves from the mental effort that come with creating ideas. They also want you to do all the work while the take some of the credit. You must be aware of these type of people and always be prudent. Keep your ideas to yourself and conceal details. Be wary of people who want to collaborate, they are often trying to find someone who will do the heavier lifting for them.
When it comes to people, you must learn not to rely on their words, but their actions. Even so, you must still be wary of people when they display certain actions, but know that actions are more consistent. Many people may be into your idea and willing to help, but people are constantly under the pull of their emotions. How they are feeling a particular day or hour may boost their spirits in the moment, but understand that it is only a moment. It may not be permanent. Learn to not take people promises seriously and rely upon yourself.
7. Passive Aggression
Most people are passive aggressive because of the fear of getting into a direct confrontation with people. They do things subtly in order to get their way. You must watch out for these type of people and pay very close attention to people’s actions. You must avoid these type of people at all cost because they can ruin your life. These are the type of people that make you feel guilty and leave you unsure why, and act harmfully but make it seem like an accident. The best thing to do it to avoid them.
Acquiring great social intelligence requires you to pay great attention to detail and the actions of others. You must delve into the minds of others and relay what they want, and what their actions mean. In this way, you will know how to have better relationships with people and obtain greater knowledge and creativity in general. Be aware of these seven social traits so you can avoid them and avoid triggering them in yourself.
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