Some people may find this hard to believe, but your personality does play a critical role in causing stress in your dating life. There are characteristics that you may have picked along over the years, and are now contributing to your failed personal relationships. It is impossible to change your personality overnight, but it is quite possible to change these four personality habits that are causing you dating stress.
1) Low Self-Esteem
If you constantly feel inferior to other people, berate yourself for faults or consider yourself as the sum total of the mistakes you have made; then, you have low self-esteem. The problem is that you may be putting yourself under a lot of unnecessary stress, which inevitably injects itself into your romantic relationships.
What you need to do is start enhancing your self-esteem by stopping the negative self-talk in your head. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses and mistakes, focus on your strengths and major accomplishments in your life (no matter how small). Whenever you feel the urge to focus on your negatives, think of all your positive attributes and you will be amazed at how great you feel about yourself.
2) Taking on Too Much Responsibility
There are certain responsibilities that everyone has to carry, including family, work and school. But, there may be times you are overextending yourself by taking on too many responsibilities that can be done by others. Take a step back and identify your major responsibilities and see if you can reduce the list.
Planning will also help you shift some of the responsibilities to your co-workers, friends and relatives. If your stress level seems to be getting out of hand, have a candid discussion with your partner or boss. Together, you can come up with strategies that will reduce how much of an impact stress is having on your relationships.
3) You Are a Control Freak
Your controlling nature may be the cause of stress in your dating life because you have the need to control just about everything that is within sight. This weakness not only negatively impacts your relationships, but your personal and work life as well. To control this urge, practice the old adage, “Let go and let a higher power.”
Understand that there are some things you cannot change. For example, how your partner dresses, talks or chews their food; these are the things that your partner can change, not you. Once you realize this, the lesser stressed you will feel.
4) Fear of the Unknown
Many people have a phobic fear of making mistakes or having their friends, family and colleagues judge them harshly. To counteract this, recognize that everyone does make mistakes, and you have to forgive yourself for past mistakes – otherwise, you will put yourself and your relationships under a lot of stress. Do not agonize over every little detail; instead, do your best and leave the rest to nature.
Plus, not being perfect is something that should not worry you, embrace your peculiar differences since they make you a unique individual. Otherwise, focusing on your faults will only lead to sky-high stress levels that can eventually ruin your relationships, family life and work life.
Recognizing and embracing your faults is halfway to winning the battle to attain and sustain healthy relationships. Remember, developing the personality flaws above has taken a long time, and you will reap the benefits of the changes you commit to implementing today gradually. All you need is due diligence, and you will experience less stress, feel more energetic and better able to take on the dating world through services like NYC matchmaking by Project Soulmate, for a meaningful, life-lasting relationship.